The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
-----
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
-----
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
-----
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
-----
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
-----
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
-----
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
-----
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
-----
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
-----
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
-----
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
-----
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
-----
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
-----
Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
-----
Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
-----
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
-----
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
-----
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
-----
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
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Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
-----
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
-----
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
-----
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
-----
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
-----
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."
To be Lawyer friends, please don't ever say any of these. EVER. >: (

Self-Reflection #3

This one is a bit shorter. 

5 For his anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime, 

Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning.

So last night after my second reflection, I realized that I needed to come back… that I’ve been straying lately. But eh. Just need to work on it.. Find what I’m really doing in life…

Other than that, even though I haven’t done any bible reading or religious reading or any reading at all… ugh. pretty bad considering it’s 1 am, I guess DT after this. but uhm, It was a really good day. Saw some besties at UCI and it was really really good. I missed them. But it also helped a lot. For the last couple months I’ve been working on making my tongue less sharp, and insinuating less things under my breath… and my bestie said I had definitely gotten better! So I’m hoping to keep that up! :D Also, just talking about life and stuff was really nice. I forgot how amazing it was to just have someone you can trust completely to talk about anything and everything with.. and being trusted that much that it doesn’t matter. Hmm, hoping to strengthen my bonds with sisters to this point too. 

One big thing, I discovered the discrepancy between the way I live now and the way my friends do. Even though we have similar life philosophies, I’ve changed in sooo many ways. I’m not as sad as I used to be— and life is definitely much more hopeful. Not that my friends aren’t this way either— it’s just that before I put all of my self-worth in them, and even though I deny it, I could never be comfortable around them because of the fact that I might be judged, but knowing my worth through God’s love really is such a blessing even with friends outside of church. Also, I need to be less ashamed about my religion. That it really is a blessing— and even though my friends aren’t at this place in their lives, to just encourage them to think about what they want…

Which leads me into criminology. In my friend’s crim class they were talking about the American Dream, and materialism, and family, and houses, and that these are the main points of the American Dream… And I couldn’t help but think that this is so true. And to just realize how radical the church really is. I mean, societal goals are all aimed towards these things, and God wants you to stop putting these things up as idols. To stop pressuring after things of security and comfort, but rather to take security and comfort in Him, because only in Him can we truly be happy. Even if I have doubts about all of these things, this is one thing I’m coming to understand… God doesn’t put these boundaries down so that we will be unhappy and slaves, but that we can truly flourish because he has placed these boundaries down in a wonderful way. And who are we to doubt these boundaries? 

 11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness, 

12 That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent, 

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever. 

- Psalm 30 

Self-Reflection #2

Self-reflection #2!! yayyy. So I decided to do a daily self reflection/life blog just to keep track of where I am in life and stuff because we had a message about old people wanting to reflect more, and then I kinda wanted to and then a friend made mee. And then I wanted to make it public because… I don’t know. I don’t want to hide my faith anymore. And what better way to not hide something than to post it on the internet? 

13 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord 

In the land of the living.

14 Wait for the Lord;

Be strong and let your heart take courage;

Yes, Wait for the Lord.

—Psalm 27

ANYWAYS, this one will be available to public, not that anyone reads it. And the first one was too angsty so it got privated, in case you were wondering. 

Here it goes: (again): 

So it’s officially my second day at home, and I think.. it went a lot better than the first. I think I was kinda resentful of the fact that I had to leave Berkeley early and I didn’t get to see any of the Seniors graduate and I didn’t get to hang out at all since my last final was on Friday… BUT, now that that’s off my chest, it was a good day. I’m happier to be home now and I’m trying hard to witness to my mom and to just read more and to do DT! ahhhh. I sorta did DT but I didn’t write it down :( And then I read Genesis 1-6 and it took me like two hours because I’m reading the notes in my study bible. Uhm, other than that, feeling slightly lonely, but I think I need to depend on God more. That I don’t need people around me at all times.. but to just have faith. 

Not to mention, I need to research OT more, because I read everything about the creation of the OT, as well as our own creation.. just started to sound a little doubtful to me. I know I’m questioning to stay in the faith, but I’m wondering if I’m questioning too much, like, it’s not really important when it comes to the biblical message, but still, it makes me wonder. Sigh, another thing to do— research! and struggle with my sin. and my desires. It’s pretty amazing— through that little defiance, we created this huge separation between us and God. Like, how even if we don’t directly go against His Word, by running away from Him then it is an act of rebellion…an act of death. 

Other than all this religious… stuff… (hopefully not jargon), I painted a lot, I cleaned a lot, and I think I’m getting along well with my mother! Yayyy. Pray for me, I need it… Oh, and also, some slight financial troubles and I have no idea what I am going to do this summer.. Ahhh. Just need to remember: 

The Lord is my light and my salvation;

Whom shall I fear? 

—- Psalm 27:1

Aunt Wu predicted that Katara would pass away in her sleep when her third grandchild was born… WRONGGGGG. /watching all of the old avatar again @.@

Life is…

hard. But so, so wonderful. I can’t believe I could ever think about not living it. 

That moment when…

you’re typing a URL because you know where you need to go… and then you momentarily forget and are super disoriented and ask yourself, “where am I going?”. And then you remember and go along your merry way. But I realized, this a pretty good metaphor for life. And, I don’t think we do it often enough. We go along doing these things when we don’t realize the implications of what we are doing, or of why we are even doing it in the first place. It’s like, typing in “facebook” automatically before you even do anything else. We let our desires control us and we never really stop to think about where we are going… and why we are going there. Are we on the road to or from Emmaus? Am I on this road or not? Things we should wonder.